he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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