we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
