I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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