i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
