Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
