Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
