Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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