I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
