I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
