She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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