whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
