Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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