How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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