I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize