If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Randomize