When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
