Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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