Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
