He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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