please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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