id be glad to
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
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I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.