never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.