as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?