i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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