Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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