Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
