Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
