We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i think i have herpe
just one?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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