Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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