I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
