Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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