You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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