Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
