party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize