I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
