addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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