I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize