but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize