i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
