It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
