Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
