You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
