I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
