Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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