this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
