I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We just shotgunned beers for America
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
