no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the high leading the old right now
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize