Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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