wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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