Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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