So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
