I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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