Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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