everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
