Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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