there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
