The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
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im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
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whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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