Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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