Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
