i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
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Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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