I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
