BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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