You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
