dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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